Do what you love longer; find peace when you are stopped.

An adage in my practice and sharing of therapeutic yoga has long been: “Do what you love, longer into life.” However, I've come to realize that I need to add to that: "and be okay when you can’t.”

Julie, Railay Bay Thailand, 2026

While rock Climbing in Thailand just a couple weeks ago, one aspect of why and how I practice yoga the way that I do was clear.

After hosting two glorious retreats, it was time for family play on the rock faces of Railay Bay. Here, the rewards of regular, intentional  practice kicked in.  My personal practice, that I also share on retreats,  consists of purposeful, and inquisitive, meditative,  evidence-based movements which prioritize function over form.

They are designed to foster deep listening, strength, connection and responsiveness and a deep sense of safety. It’s super rewarding and fun when it comes together doing an activity I love.

Yet, life is not always a smooth trajectory of safety, success and embodied empowerment. I was reminded of this just last week.

On the first morning after returning home from a month of tropical living, I was completely out of my Canadian winter routine. I set out for the usual dog walk, neglecting to put on my boots with built-in ice cleats. Although the sidewalks and streets were clear, our favorite off-pavement trails were treacherously slick. I ignored the intuitive thought to "go back for the cleats”. I managed to stay upright for the entire 40-minute walk—until I didn't! With one small step to cross an icy slope, I fell backwards, hitting my head in a way I'd never experienced before.

Thankfully, the resulting concussion symptoms were mild, and I am already feeling much better a week later. My daughter, Lauren, wisely reminded me that I possess the tools to navigate these challenges, and to be present and grounded with the physical discomfort and the "brain fog." She is absolutely right, and for that I am deeply grateful. We all experience phases in life when we are capable, and phases when our body is not. 

To me, self-care practices that teach us to move with life's inevitable ups and downs, all within the foundation of being okay no matter what, are vital. This profound sense of just 'being' is as constant and accessible as the air we breathe; we just haven’t learned to recognize it.

This doesn't negate the times when we feel like we are a mess, or we feel hopeless about something. "Being okay" aren't the perfect words to describe the aspect of us that has never been hurt or broken. From that unshakable ground of basic being, life ebbs and flows.

I wasn't the only one who returned home from retreat to a difficult situation. Tracy Rohl shared that as her plane touched down on the Canadian tarmac, she received news about the loss of a loved one. She confided in me, saying, "I have never felt so light and aware of myself as I did after two weeks with you. I will get back there, now that I know what it takes. You gave us the tools, and it is up to us to use them." When I asked Tracy for her permission to share her words, she added, "I really believe each and every one of us on the retreat with you feels that."

The principles of therapeutic yoga and meditation are not just for the good times. They are the scaffolding that allows us to meet difficulty with a deep, quiet strength, and perhaps even a bit of grace. Whether it's a tumble on the ice or another unexpected challenge, the tools of self-awareness and gentle movement pave the way for resilience. My hope is that we all continue to prioritize the small, consistent self-care practices that reveal our inherent 'okayness'—a truth that sustains us, no matter the terrain.

3 Lessons Learned at my daughter's wedding

1. 

   In matters of love, there is always more to express.

1. Preparing and delivering a wedding speech provided an opportunity to reminisce, express my love for Taylor, and learn a few things along the way. Her sparkling eyes and open heart were a welcoming space for my words. There was a moment when Tay's expression seemed to say, "ugh oh, Mom don't go there!" as I touched on a topic from her teenage years, followed by relief when I didn't continue. Moms are like baleen whales; we have filters. Despite its imperfections and sniffle-laden moments, my speech was a direct expression of love that transcended words.

I now realize we don't have to wait for the opportunity of a formal speech to go through the steps.. For me, this began by letting words free-flow into the 'voice memo' feature on my phone as I walked along forest trails. Later with using "transcribe", voila, there was my speech in text, albeit a 37-minute version for a 6-minute time guideline! Ah, but the the bones were there. Then after a challenging dissection, it all fell in place.

The emotions that flowed through the creative process didn't depend on delivery of the speech. Delivery could be a face-to-face chat, by phone, recording, or letter. If words aren't your forté let the feelings and memories inspire a sketch or painting.

We can also honor those who have passed by reflecting, writing, or creating. It's never too late to recognize what's in our hearts.

2. Healing from family conflicts can be more profound when we come together in celebration of love.

Family gatherings frequently confront us with past hurts. Use this chance to come together in the shared love for those being honored.

The days surrounding the wedding provided an opportunity for me to reconnect with my former in-laws, who will always feel like family. It was a time to stand together, arms linked, with Taylor's dad, his wife, and my husband Mitch, united in our love for Taylor and her new husband Nick. An unforgettable moment was when Taylor's dad and I prepared to walk our daughter to her waiting groom. A high-five and a meaningful glance between us captured the essence of our shared history, with all its ups and downs, culminating in this perfect moment.

The end of a marriage doesn't mean it wasn't 'successful'.

If you anticipate that your family situation might be confrontational or challenging, take the necessary steps to recognize and address your emotions well in advance. Establish the boundaries you require, and then, embody the love that defines you. Everything else is merely a narrative within the sphere of love. 

3. We are not responsible for other people's happiness.

When I asked my dear friend Liz if she had advice for me after her son's wedding, she said 'be present'. It actually made me chuckle as that's what I teach, and yet I can't hear it often enough. Liz said she was so busy taking care of others that she wasn't very present for herself. I took her precaution to heart, considered the needs of others, and didn't take on responsibility for their enjoyment. I was free to have a great time, and a great time it was!

Oh, and another tip I picked up as the mother of the bride: Skip the after-party, even if you're invited. You're still a parent, after all:) Rest up and have a 'whale of a time' the following day.

Your Mental Playlist and Freedom from it

Have you noticed what is getting 'air-time' in your head lately?

You know, the steady stream of thoughts spinning like an LP on a turn-table, running like a hamster in a wheel?

Try to mute this mental chatter, and you might discover that it only amplifies.

If you've ever claimed that your mind is too busy to meditate, you know this phenomenon first hand.

 So, is there freedom beyond our playlists of thinking? If so, how can you access it?

STEP 1 to FREEDOM; UNDERSTAND & NOTICE

 Understand that the chatter is a normal function of the brain. Don't try to stop, edit or control it. Simply notice it.

 This 'blah-blah-blah' playlist sings out a limited idea of who we are. It shapes a narrow perception of you and the world around you. In addition, the naturally negative bias we share as humans, authors a bleak autobiography.

Freedom comes from recognizing these natural tendencies. The recognition will buy a little space to catch a glimpse of your true nature, rather than be stuck in a lesser story of who you are.

This isn't spiritual gobbly gook. Neuroscientific hypothesis links the 'playlist' to specific areas of the brain, referred to as the Default Mode Network. (DMN)

STEP TWO TO FREEDOM; SHIFT GEARS

Good news; we have another neural network that is connected to well-being, happiness and wholeness. All you need to access it, is your attention. You can shift your attention from one object in the room to another, right? You can also shift attention outside of your default narrative. You actually do this all the time already, but more on that later.

 I invite you to 'test your gears' in 4 steps:

1.  Close your eyes or soften your gaze, and enjoy a couple of satisfying breaths.

2. Tune into your playlist of thoughts for a while. Just noticing thinking.

3. Shift attention to notice how you are aware of thinking.

4. What is it like to be aware?

Did this simple inquiry change your relationship to the playlist, even if momentarily? Does something feel different? Can you feel yourself as the noticer, rather than being hooked into the thoughts?

Or, are you wondering what the heck I'm asking you to do? If it confusing, good. WIllfully stepping out of the DNS can be disorienting. You might take comfort in the fact that you are already switching gears of consciousness often, every day and every night. It is just likely that nobody has pointed that out to you.

When you are simply aware, notice the qualities of awareness. Does awareness feel more peaceful, light, and/or spacious? What else do you notice when you are simply aware of all that comes and goes in your mind?

Comparatively, the playlist of thoughts may feel more stressful, contracted, or dense.

Awareness is a state of consciousness connected to creativity and potentiality, where we are free of our perceived limitations.

A WORD OF CAUTION

Trying too hard to stay as awareness will lock you out. Awareness isn't something you "do". In this practice you shift attention away from the content of your mind and the "doing". You shift into noticing, or "being", just as you are, naturally, before your mind applies interpretive thoughts.

Simply relax attention, notice being aware of whatever you are aware of, however fleeting it may be. It is natural for the Default Mode Network to re-engage, landing you back into the "blah-blah-blah". The good news is that when you notice that happening, you are already back in awareness of it.

The goal is not to achieve any one state, but rather to be able to recognize and navigate the changing states with increasing ease. Each state has its own validity; a negative bias is designed to keep you safe. With practice, you more readily access the wisdom to know what is true and when to take action.

Initially, moving attention from a thought stream to being aware of thinking, may feel clumsy or inaccessible. Like learning to drive a manual transmission car, practice will lead to a smooth shift between our states of consciousness.

FREE UP ENERGY

Our subconscious avoidance of the DMN demands a lot of energy. We might tune out the playlists by staying overly busy, self-soothing with substances, excessive risk-taking, or my personal favorite, over-thinking.

Often, I catch myself overthinking - not with judgment, but with curiosity and appreciation of the opportunity to change lanes of consciousness. I notice overthinking, feel how it feels, then notice how it is to be aware of it. In my experience, awareness is refreshing, relaxing, and freeing.

It should be noted that concentration or focus on a task, work or activity is an effective rest from the DMN. It's just that we can't sustain that focus for long without draining our energy.

I invite you to notice how it is for you to be open to the awareness of whatever is happening in your experience. For best results do little bits, often.

Imagine the liberation of not being stuck in your thoughts, and not having to change them or turn them off.

There are many paths to freedom. Join me on Thursdays for iRest Yoga Nidra and the opportunity to practice switching gears to discover innate wisdom and well-being.  

Have fun exploring, and let me know how it goes for you!